


For Your Eyes Only

by the_last_dillards



Series: Kinktober 2020 [8]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Cunnilingus, Exhibitionism, Kinktober, Multi, Paranoia, Pining, Sexual Fantasy, Thinking About Someone Else During Sex, slightly dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:20:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26885761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_last_dillards/pseuds/the_last_dillards
Summary: Julian tried not to do it. It wasn’t fair to Leeta to be thinking about someone else, especially his ex, while they made love. But think about it he did.Kinktober Day 8: Exhibitionism
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak, Julian Bashir/Leeta
Series: Kinktober 2020 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1945888
Comments: 12
Kudos: 40





	For Your Eyes Only

**Author's Note:**

> This could be considered a slight AU where The Wire made Julian and Garak more distant instead of making them closer. Series events are still the same tho.
> 
> Warning for some undertones of unhealthy relationship dynamics.
> 
> Update! Podfic version by yohlenyaoilover now available here: <https://archiveofourown.org/works/27135778>

Julian tried not to think about it.

It wasn’t fair to Leeta for one thing. Especially not now when his face was pressed between her legs, happily sucking at her clit.

But think about it he did.

Thoughts about Garak didn’t even need to creep in past his defenses. They had never left. Like a house guest that had far outstayed their welcome but that he couldn’t figure out how to force out the door.

It had already been a half year since they’d broken up. That in itself had been a longtime coming, a slow deterioration ever since the incident with the wire, only to come to a head in the holosuite. 

He had thought at first, foolishly, that it would bring them closer together, saving Garak’s life and helping him through his addiction. Truths that had been veiled in lies, now revealed.

But Garak had only pulled back from him. 

And not only that, he seemed to expect Julian to remain just as much of an open book as before. To trust him when Garak could not return the favor and had even warned him against doing so. It was a confusing juggle of figuring out just what Garak wanted from him and what they actually were together, but he’d kept trying. Kept hoping the situation would change.

And when he’d taken time for himself—stress relief in the form of a silly game from a genre that felt to Julian like an old friend—Garak couldn’t have that either.

But Julian had moved on. Found someone who could be there for him and that would allow him to be there in return.

Leeta was a very nice woman. A good, kind, decent person. Someone that anyone would be lucky to have in their life.

So why did he still think about Garak?

Everything Leeta said or did, he couldn’t help but to compare. 

Her laughs and moans. The way she ate. The things that she agreed or argued on. Even her body. Each was mentally placed next to Garak’s and analyzed for sameness and differences.

And in every way, she was found lacking. 

It was wrong. He knew it. It wasn’t a nice thing to do. 

And maybe there was something wrong with Julian himself, because even on things that should definitely give Leeta an edge over his ex—such as not justifying murder and torture as a means to an end—somehow they weren’t. They were just another thing about Leeta that came up short.

The problem followed him even to the here and now.

He did his best to focus. Put his all into it.

But eating out Leeta wasn’t anything like eating out Garak. The taste was all wrong, (sharper and harder instead of sweet and honey-like), he occasionally got hair in his mouth, and there was no special reward of a prUt sliding into his mouth if he did his job well enough.

This was ridiculous. The point of moving on was that Leeta _wasn’t_ Garak.

Part of Julian wondered if it was purposeful. That the Cardassian had played and manipulated him over the years so that anybody else would be totally ruined for him. So that everywhere he looked, he would just think about Garak again.

The bastard probably knew it too. Had planned it from the beginning. Wrapped the naive little Starfleet doctor around his finger and then watched him go.

Sometimes he felt like Garak had some sort of power, an ability to see everything, know everything, and set up the world around him like an absurdly complex Rube Goldberg machine sheerly for his own amusement.

Well, if he’d planned this, had wanted Julian to leave him only to come crawling back out of some sort of perverse narcissism, Garak would be gravely mistaken.

If he wanted Julian thinking of him still at all hours of the day and night, he would. And he would enjoy it too.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, ever since the very beginning, had always been the nagging worry that Garak kept tabs on him more than just seeking out rumors or searching the nets. That he’d bugged his room, had a recording device of some kind, its purpose equally being protection and extortion.

Julian was reasonably sure that wasn’t true. Just some flight of fancy from a younger him who thought espionage was a fantastical thing. But Julian took that old idea now and let it guide him into his fantasy.

Garak was the jealous sort. He wouldn’t like that Julian was using his mouth on anyone else, but there would be nothing he could do as he watched far away on some monitor, alone in his rooms.

His hungry eyes would focus in on Julian as he went down on a woman the very same way that he once had done to Garak, not all that long ago. He hoped Garak would remember just how well he’d used to do it too. How refined he’d become from that inexperienced young thing who’d never so much as seen Cardassian anatomy in a textbook before.

He rubbed his hands along the inside of Leeta’s thighs and pulled away to press kisses into the soft skin there as he pressed a finger into her sex.

Maybe Garak would touch himself as he watched. Piercing blue eyes staring at Julian’s image and feeling inside himself, pretending it was him. But no matter how he tried, he would know that it wasn’t. Julian was hot-blooded, able to set a fire alight in him like no other, whereas Garak's blood ran so very cold. 

And so instead, he would watch enviously as those long fingers were made to pleasure Leeta.

She gasped loudly as Julian nosed back around to kiss at her clit, grabbing his hair.

 _Would Garak let himself evert into his hand as he watched?_ Julian wondered. _No,_ he decided. That would only expose him to the lonely, chill of the station's air and remind him of his empty bed and so Garak would hold himself in, teasing and playing with himself.

Well, Julian knew one thing that would warm him up.

He moaned loudly into Leeta and pushed his naked rump up into the air. She laughed in surprise, and he doubled down on his task, turning her giggles into a long _"Ahh!"_ as he wiggled his rear end for good measure.

There, that should give Garak a good tease. How burning mad he would be! 

Julian, daring to mock him while someone else derived pleasure from his mouth. His ass on display and ripe for the taking, but far away and inaccessible to any spying Cardassians.

He could just imagine the sort of simmer that Garak would be in.

Maybe he’d seek Julian out the next day, haul him bodily into a storage closet as he passed by, and take what he felt was his due then and there. And afterwards, Julian would thank him for the good fuck, and go back to pleasuring Leeta that very same night.

Oh, Garak would hate that. 

The hand in his hair tugged at it and Leeta’s back arched.

“Oh! Oh, Julian!”

Garak would leer at him from across the Promenade when he saw Julian and Leeta out on their dates. Glare with predatory eyes over their now rare literary discussions. He would know exactly what dirty little things Julian got up to when he was alone and what even dirtier things he did when he wasn’t.

Leeta clenched hard around his fingers and came.

Julian continued to thrust them steadily into her, helping her through it. 

He kissed her belly, feeling it twitch beneath his lips, and tried not to think too long on fine grey scaling over a soft middle.

Yes, he definitely didn’t need Garak anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to put here that Leeta pegs Julian afterwards and that he calls out for someone called Elim but coincidence of coincidences, [Almaasi just put out a fic where that quite literally happens,](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26848171/chapters/65504824) (also a Leeta/Julian with pining for Garak fic) so go read that if you’d like! Something must be in the air ;)
> 
> Anyways, Julian; break up with Leeta so that she can find someone she deserves and then go get relationship counseling with your shitty homicidal boyfriend already!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [For Your Eyes Only [PODFIC]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27135778) by [yohlenyaoilover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yohlenyaoilover/pseuds/yohlenyaoilover)




End file.
